Today I climbed up the mountain to the Cruz de Ferro. I prayed for the boys in my family with my steps... John- Brian-Eric-Lucas and the Jim - Frank- Bill- Chris, was my chant of the day.
There is a giant wooden pole with a cross on the top. This is the place in the movie The Way where you leave your rock or something from home and pray for something that has been bringing you sadness or depression in your life. For me, I am blessed with a wonderful life. There are things that bring me sadness though. One thing is the fact that I have some relationships in my life, that no matter how hard I have tried to maintain them, they have slipped away. This is not only with friends, but it is also with family. I am a person who calls, and tries to keep up with others, but there are many who are not like this. I am letting this go, here and now, and I need to learn to be accepting of how much people can, and are willing to give. I also need to realize that people are busy with their lives. I also need to accept the fact that people are in your life for a day, sometimes just a moment, a week, a month or a lifetime. Any amount of time spent with another person is a blessing.
I also spent time here praying for a more complete release of the disappointment and bitterness I still have about my divorce. I never have had closure from this major event in my life, and I must accept that I will probably never receive an apology, or the closure I have wanted. I must accept and completely free myself from Gene, and be completely free to accept and trust the wonderful life I have with John. The perfect life and family wasn't perfect. And I am so much better now.
I have wonderful, wonderful children, who have all married really great people, whom I love as my own children. I love those kids and grand kids so much....
It's so cool to be sitting here on top of this mountain recording these thoughts on my iPad, I am really loving this thing..
Now complaint of the day. Why do people in a communal bunk houses insist on waking up at 5 am and turning on flashlights, waking everyone else? Yikes, who gets up at 5 to start walking in the dark? Not me, I'm a 6:30 kind of gal. Since I was up, I started walking before 7, and don't want to finish my 10 miles before 11.. I also wore my tennis shoes today. Seeing how my toes do, and so far, pretty well.
I left a shell from my beach at home on the mountain, it seemed the fitting thing today.
The gravely, Stoney track of today. It was a very hard day.
I am settled in Acebo, all is well and I will sleep soundly tonight, I am sure.
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